Am I really a Cleanorexic? In light of today's reaction to my daily food plan diary on the Tosca Reno Facebook Fanpage I thought I post a quick video response to the commentary.
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| My Food Dairy July 3rd, submitted to Rita Catolino |
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| My Food Dairy July 3rd, submitted to Rita Catolino |
Wishing you nothing but strength and courage. I lost my Dad when I was ten and I know all about loss of appetite when you are grieving. Still to this day I have days where I do not want to eat because I am sad or frustrated. I think you have been doing Amazing and should be proud of your strength.
ReplyDeleteYou always inspire me.
Renee
I think you are an amazing and incredible strong woman. People tend to throw rocks to project their own negative feelings about themselves towards amazingly positive people. As long as you can look yourself in the mirror at the end of the day and be proud of your journey, the rock throwing doesn’t even matter. You are an inspiration to a lot of people. I respect and admire you. I HOPE YOU KICK ASS IN YOUR COMPETITION!
ReplyDeleteI am amazed and in awe of your strength. I truly cannot imagine facing each day without the love of your life...I love that you are "going for it" for Bob, and am cheering you on all the way!!! Cheers and much love Tosca, you are SUCH an inspiration to me!!
ReplyDeleteI personally think, you are an Educated, intelligent Woman, who wouldn't do anything to Endanger her Own Health!! You are my inspiration Tosca, and Have Changed the my Life for the Better!! Kick some Butt in Oct.Competition, I'll be rooting for you!!
ReplyDeleteI rarely comment on things like this, but whoever is accusing Tosca of being a "cleanorexic" is insane. I don't know why I'm continually shocked by people's vile behavior. As BJ said, people will knock others down because of their own insecurities. Tosca is mourning her husband and I can't even imagine what she is feeling day in and day out. Not wanting to eat is highly common in times of stress and grief. Additionally, she's competing for a FIGURE competition. She's eating way more than some of the figure athletes I've come across who go to ridiculous lengths for their comps. Tosca, you inspire us all!! Clean eating has changed my life as well as the lives of some of my loved ones. You are an amazing woman. Stay strong and knock out those reps for Bob!
ReplyDeleteAmen to that! We love you Tosca! Keep up all the hard work with your grieving process and you will prevail!
DeleteMy sister her lost her husband not long ago and it is a tough journey. I remember none of us felt like eating. You are doing amazing and I think you diet looks great!
ReplyDeleteI would love to do a competition someday so please continue posting your diet so those of us who are supporting you can follow along!
I have all of your books and love love love reading your blog!
Sending thoughts and prayers your way!
Sharmin Meadows
Hang in there. I have the same problem with my appetite. When things get hard, it turns off like a light switch. I suffered from anorexia in college because I didn't understand this switch I had. These days, as someone who doesn't have much extra weight to loose, I usually have to rely on dense foods without a lot of extra bulk to get through the hard times without doing damage to my body. Boost and Ensure are good options. I know, not exactly "clean", but they will get calories in you without making you feel like there's a brick in your stomach. My dietician always reminds me that being a nutritional deficit is only going to fuel my depression. Thank you for your transparency and you are in my prayers!
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazing woman, Tosca. No one can understand the sadness you are feeling with the loss of your husband. Prayers for strength and peace. Keep moving forward.
ReplyDeleteHi Tosca,
ReplyDeleteI am always listening to you and the guidance you give us little ones.... Now listen to me. Grieve YOUR way, release YOUR way, transition YOUR way! You are an amazingly strong person who is kind and very loving. You and your family have touched the lives of so many of us that it is time for you to stop, grieve, and transition your way. I wish you peace and love and will be praying for you and your family.
Warm Regards,
Loren
I love how you stand in your truth. With the help of social media, it's easy for people to throw opinions out, sometimes carelessly so. Especially if it means they don't have to focus on their own lives. You and your trainer know what's best for your body. I'm so inspired by your journey. Best wishes for your continued success and healing.
ReplyDeleteDearest Tosca,
ReplyDeleteI could tell from the first breath this was going to be a hard video entry for you today. You know what? I really appreciate you! I went to the health food store today and found Cell Food and the Vega pre-workout supplement you take (I couldn't find anything else). *I* rely on *your* daily encouragement to your readers.
This next phase of your life journey is such a terribly difficult one. Know that you are being held up in prayer, even though you feel like the world is crashing down. I love that you're honouring Bob by doing this competition.
I made a connection with a lady in church the other week as she posted on your dd's naturopath FB page! We both raved about you and we have dreams that one day we can have a cup of coffee with you (my dream is to work out...or have you come mountain bike with my group). That's our *dream* -- meeting precious YOU! We are going to the fundraiser in September (Recharge Your Life) in Listowel and we are SO super excited! I found out that one of the organizers is someone I knew when I was 12! And through my FBing about how excited I am, another friend said that her sister and you are friends (I think her name is Sharon Rothwell...she was married to my dh's cousin eons ago). You are spoken of very highly amongst those that know you, dear Tosca.
Keep you head up...and hold on.
Blessings,
Caralyn
P.S. I was a recent winner of Hemp Hearts from your Eat Clean FB page. I've received them and have used them! Thanks so much! My heart soared with joy when I received your FB message and I had a lovely quick email correspondence with your dd.
Haters gonna hate...keep on being the strong woman you are!
ReplyDeleteDear Tosca,
ReplyDeleteI wish I could throw my arms around you and hug you and tell you not to let negative people get to you. I know it is especially hard when we are hurting and vulnerable, but I want you to know that millions of us love you and your family and are standing behind you all the way. Everyone's journey through grief and healing is different and I am sorry that were not shown respect. You are a beautiful person, who along with Tough Love Bob, has made an impact in my life. I even toughed out a couple of more reps this morning thinking of him. :)
Know that you are loved, respected, admired and that we're cheering you on in your competition prep. You go girl and don't let anyone or anything stop you.
Lots of love,
Anita
Your video brought tears to my eyes. You are on the correct path. This is your journey that you allow us to share. Thank you for your honest thoughts. I am here to support you and cheer you on.
ReplyDeleteLove
Rebecca
Vermont
Keep your head up, Tosca! I think you are doing amazing both through your grieving process and your competition prep. Keep doing what you're doing. I love following you and your progress!
ReplyDeleteLove ya!
Tosca, I agree with these positive commenters and my heart goes out to you! You are the expert when it comes to your own body and you know what you need. You obviously put a lot of thought into what you're doing - and you are a smart, educated woman. Trust yourself and don't listen to those who wish to judge you and bring you down with negativity. Nobody else but you knows how you are feeling and what's best for you.
ReplyDeleteMy diet has been off kilter for the last couple of weeks and I'm going to use your meal plan above for two weeks as a kind of "reset", it sounds good to me!
Stay strong - you are an awesome person and I can't wait to see you in September at our Recharge Your Life event in Atwood!
Sending you HUGS!!
Dawn :)
Tosca,
ReplyDeleteI criticized your diet and I can understand and empathize with the appetite fluctuations that you are experiencing under the stresses of death and loss. Anything I said was out of concern for you and your sycophants. Bottom line: There is not enough protein in your diet to support existing LBM, your fats are very low, and your overall calorie level is too low to meet the demands of your resting metabolic rate. Increased depression is common with a diet low in fat and the effect is compounded by having such a drastic overall caloric deficit.
I realize I'm not beloved symbol of dietary change, as you are, but I know about manipulating one's diet to obtain low bodyfat and preserve muscle mass. What you've explained as your daily eating is not the calorie amount or macronutrient profile that a figure athlete, any female physique-style competitor or a power or oly lifter who is cutting would use. If it is all that you can manage because of your sadness, then that is fine, but I think it is reckless to post it in a place where other women are going to think it is representative of the "ideal" amounts an active woman should to eat to lose weight for competition.
I wish you the best of luck. I genuinely care that you and people who read your posts are taking care of their bodies in the right way, no matter their fitness goals. You are in a unique position to help women, and while I think the general message of your lifestyle is great, I don't think your diet posting was a positive contribution this time.
Sycophants? Suzanna, I sincerely hope you are using the word improperly. Because if you are indeed using it correctly, I find it to be offensive (and incredibly arrogant) that you are calling the women Tosca inspires bootlickers, fawners, flatterers and toadies (from Collins Essential Canadian English Dictionary and Thesaurus, 2004).
DeleteBecause I am one of them, and I am definitely not a sycophant.
Suzanna, your cue to stop with your unpleasant posting should have been 'I realize I'm not beloved symbol of dietary change'. You say you empathize with her, however, I am not convinced that you even understand the meaning of the word. I'm also shocked that you think that women would just simply adopt this ONE day meal plan to the letter, especially those who are training for competitions. Clearly you have not only misjudged Tosca, but every one of her followers at the same time.
DeleteSuzanna,
DeleteYou must've been the bully back in school days huh?
I just stumbled across your "cleanorexic" Facebook post. I just have to say how awful it is for you to have to read those types of comments, especially after losing your love. Very shameful for those who posted negative things. Keep your chin up and keep doing what you do best. Nothing but positive thoughts to you! ((((hugs))))
ReplyDeleteAs Bob Kennedy quoted in his last book: "never tell evil of man, if you do not know for certainty, and if you know it with certainty, then ask yourself Suzanna, Why should I tell?
ReplyDeleteWe are all adults here, we don't need your negativity or opinion.
You're amazing. Fight the good fight and "keep your head above water". Thanks for all that you do! You ARE my inspiration, and I look forward to watching you continue in your contest prep.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that some people would judge your eating habits, especially now with what you're going through personally and what you are training for to achieve. I think it's unfair for anyone to pass judgement, even if it's from a good place (ie. they are worried about you) I understand. But you invented the Eat-Clean way of life, you have taught us all about nourishing our bodies the right way to facilitate health. Why anyone would doubt you now with how you take care of yourself is beyond me.
ReplyDeleteYou are an inspiration to men and women a like, don't let some people effect how you live your life, you should never have to explain yourself or your actions to anyone but YOURSELF.
Again I don't understand also why people are stating their opinions when you have a licensed professional guiding you through this training process. And also this isn't how you are going to eat for the rest of your life, you will go back to your clean eating ways when you are finished. This to me just seems like a way for you to stay focused and help your through a difficult time. I think it is definitely better then holing yourself up in a room, being completely stagnant waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I see this as a rebuild, a learning to walk again, live again with yourself and where you are now in life.
Be well Tosca, we all love you and are so proud of you for all you've accomplished and for always holding your head up high <3
Tosca, I love and support you always. Thank you for sharing your journey with us regardless of some of the negative feedback you receive. You are such a strong woman and I think people forget that you are still grieving the loss of your husband and best friend. Love, Lauren
ReplyDeleteI just read your post and watched your video. It saddens me that others criticize what you are doing when you are working toward a goal to compete just after losing the one of the most precious people in your life. I applaud you for your efforts because I know that I could not be so strong to do competition prep after losing someone. You are a fantastic role model and I have been successful thus far in competing and gaining the self confidence in my body that I never had because of your clean eating diet. I too go through phases of not wanting to eat and before I would not but know I continue on because of the knowledge that I have gained from reading your books and eating plans. So I leave you with this..
ReplyDeleteGod is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble. Psalms 46:1
I will be praying for your strength.
What happened here I think is the negative side of social media. With a public forum people say how they feel without always taking people's feelings into account. Tosca has personally wrote me back when I asked her some personal questions about my daughter and her struggles. She so graciously wrote back to me with such inspirational words. This is such a giving women with passion but she also is a real person, that's why we love her!
ReplyDeleteTosca, I've been a fan of yours since May 2009 when I first stumbled across your first edition of the ECD. I was recovering from really intensive facial surgery that left me weak and depleted in body, mind, heart and spirit. Following your plan has made me feel strong and full, and allowed me to pursue so many goals that I don't know I would've had the strength to accomplish or even reach for otherwise. Just TODAY my AFAA Certified Personal Fitness Trainer cert came in the mail. I'm in grad school for Mental Health Counseling too! Oh, and if that wasn't enough-- I'm doing Reps for Bob too. I signed up for my first competition that will take place in NC on November 3rd. You are so inspiring and feel like family, even tho we've never met.
ReplyDeleteSending you love and light... from one of your Little Sisters in Iron
-EJ
Tosca, you are a huge inspiration. You have been through a lot, and you always have my support. Don't listen to the nay-sayers. You are strong and amazing and forever have my deepest gratitude. No darts being thrown out you here. :) Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteYears of participating on internet forums have taught me that when you put something out there, no matter how positive you may think it is, there are always going to be people who disagree. Despite your best efforts it's impossible no to take it personally.
ReplyDeleteTosca, you are an inspiration to all women (especially us 50 somethings out there :)). Keep up the good work!
I'm so very sorry to hear what you're going through right now. ALL of it, from the loss of your husband to this cleanorexia nonsense. Just look at all this love and support pouring out to you. One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time, one breath at a time...whatever it takes to get through each day. My sincerest condolences - and support.
ReplyDeleteI've just started reading your blog and find it truly inspirational. Everyone grieves differently and you need to do what you need to do to get through it. Sending you nothing but the best for you and your family. hugs.
ReplyDeleteAs my mom lost my dad when she was in her early 60 we here children have seen the suffer that this lost has cost her. She met our dad when she was 17, had her first child with him when she was 18. Together they had 6 children and we children grow up in a house filled with love and care. after my dad past a way sudden, my mom had to learn for the first time in her life how to be on her own since she was left behind with an empty nest and with out my father. It broke our hearts to see her going through this.
ReplyDeleteHow is she doing after 12 years, the pain is still there but she has become a strong and independent women who would make my dad proud. She is our rock and mentor in life and my best friend.
Letting her go through the grief of losing our dad on her own terms with out telling her how she should feel, what she should do, helped her to give the loss of our dad a place in her life and to move on surrounding herself with her children, grandchildren and dear friends.
Everyone goes through their grieving process in different ways and you will get through it in your own time and on your terms and until you have given it a place in your life don't let anyone tell you how you should go about doing so.
Be yourself with all your strengths and emotions because remember that's why he, the love of your life, loved you.
Dear Tosca,
ReplyDeleteWhen I saw the title of your post "cleanorexia", my first thought was that it was some Dutch housewifey thing...you know...cleaning like a mad fiend as a way of dealing with stress (not that I know anything about THAT, you understand...ahem!).
Sad to learn that others are criticizing your diet. I read your diet post earlier in the day and thought it quite healthy actually (but then, I am a follower of Paleo dietary practices).
When I grieve, food tastes like ashes and is very hard to get down, so I commend you girl, for taking such good care of yourself and making sure to be eating nutrient-dense foods at this awful time of your life. Also, for looking forward and setting goals that will honour your husband and the love you so obviously shared. I hope that it helps to ease the pain of loss somewhat and bring some meaning to what you are going through.
I treasure the signed copy of the Eat Clean Diet that I have from you. You continue to inspire me. You are in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope to be there to see you on that stage in October!
Sincerely,
Deb van de Water
Tosca, you are incredible, and my heart breaks for you. I find it ridiculous that anyone would criticize you or your diet now or anytime. You are such an inspiration, and when most people would not get out of bed after such a tremendous loss, you are focusing your efforts on competing in honor of the love of your life. Your grieving process is yours and yours alone. No one can pretend to know what you are feeling or what you should or should not be doing. So many of us love you and are here with you every step of the way, including all of the ups and downs you will encounter. I wish you peace, strength, support, and love.
ReplyDeleteIt's so much easier to type comments without a thought, than to speak honestly. Thank you for the raw, honest response. Because you are such a powerful force, some people might forget you're just as human as the rest of us.
ReplyDeleteHi Tosca - I've never posted before but having seen your video just now I feel I must. You and your work have changed my life. Your books, videos and blog posts have given me tools. Your passion and your courage have given me confidence to move forward. I can't imagine the pain and grief you must be experiencing at the moment and to continue to be there for your "public", to honour your commitments and to keep working to change people's lives means so much. I am sure for every negative comment out there in the anonymity of cyber space there are 100 positive comments, and so many more people experiencing wonderful life-altering experiences from coming into contact with you and your brand. Thank you for all you do.
ReplyDeleteTosca, I have been a "fan" of yours for a few years now and have never commented here but I am appaled that at this difficult time in your life anyone would criticize what you are doing. I cannot begin to imagine how sad you must feel and my admiration for you has only grown after Bob's death and witnessing the dignity with which you are coping.
ReplyDeleteJust do what you know is right, thank you for sharing with us all, Bob IS proud of you. (((Hugs)))
Thank you for being human and for doing your best at taking care of you. That is enough for me. Please do what you need to do to heal as I am so greatful for your example and for the education I have learned on clean eating and it's principles. I will be forever greatful for the positive changes and healing I continue to see in my life on a daily basis. I hope you will be given the gift to feel how you need to feel and do what what you need to do to heal.
ReplyDeleteBless your heart Tosca, I wouldn't worry too much about what people think...I think it's really great that you're training and working with Rita because it offers you some structure as you grieve. You're doing amazing! Bob would be so proud.
ReplyDeleteAw Tosca, you have amazing strength and we who are your true fans "get it". You are a positive influence for so many of us on a daily basis. I am sorry you have been subjected to such negative crap at a time when you need us the most. Take care sister!
ReplyDeleteTosca,
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine what you are going though and you're a constant inspiration to me.
You have my support and please keep posting!
Hugs.
It saddens my heart that you had to post this video. As always you bare your soul to your readers. There will always be those who lash out because they are mean spirited. Those are not your fans. Your true fans have your back, sister.
ReplyDeleteBe strong Tosca, do what you have to to heal your heart. We are here for you.
Molly229
Dear Tosca,
ReplyDeleteYou have inspired me and continue to do so year after year. Your books and Oxygen magazine have helped me lose over 30 pounds in a healthy way over the course of a year. I am continuing to eat clean and train hard thanks to you, my wonderful trainer and the support of my family and friends.
I appreciate all of your posts and honesty with what you are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Love, Kelly
You have my best wishes in your path to the stage. It's a difficult journey, as you know, but you are more than up for the challenge. I thank you for sharing that journey with us. For those of us who have competed, we recognize - and honor - the hard work, dedication, and rarely understood diet that you follow to reach your goal. As always, I am inspired by your strength, and touched by your transparency. My heart and thoughts are with you.
ReplyDeleteTosca~ I found you on line this year looking for someone near my own age who had mastered the excercise/weight loss dragon.
ReplyDeleteYou and I are the same age. I was born in April in '59 in Edmonton. Grew up in Alberta, married an American moved to the US in the 80's, 3 kids, divorced in '97. Like you, around age 40, I was leaving an unhappy marriage and looking in the mirror. I read alot of Susan Powter's work and was struck by how fitness has transformed her life. I dabbled in it; yet, chose to go back to school for a graduate degree in nursing and got caught up in academic achievement.
So here I am, 53...having had the full hormone onslaught, weight gain, hysterectomy, and now , finally fell good enough to get to the gym and face my 60 plus weight gain. Your work has totally inspired me- and beyond the inspiration offers tangibles like what to eat, how to move, what to think. Priceless. I keep kicking myself - darn - she's the same age! and a Canadian to boot!!
So, now, teaching psychiatric nursing, working with self harming adolescents (girls with eating disorders, girls who cut) I am struck by the mental anchors that exercise and eating well offers. I often think we could do away with at least half of the prescribed antidepressants if we could get people to eat out of gardens and get off the couch. And as far as nutritional deprivation - ah, for a lifetime perhaps, but for the short time with a goal in mind, , not. And you are correct - when grieving scheduling eating and high nutrient eating is the an anchor and gives one's body fuel as the the emotional intensity is waded through. We often counsel adults to drink daily Ensure when grieving - what you are doing is much, much better.
Manage your daily grief in whatever ways work for you and may the naysayers get on to do their own life work. The eating plan you described above I actually copied and pasted - thought what a great plan it would be for myself - I could actually see myself eating like this at least 5 out of 7 days and it would do wonders for my psyche and weight issue.
Your vulnerability is palpable. Stay sweet. Rest. You have earned every right to do life as you need to.
Warmly, Brenda
Your vulnerability brought tears to my eyes this morning. Sending love and compassion your way. xo
ReplyDeleteHi Tosca - I am training in London with Rita and she is changing my life day by day and I know that she will be an amazing person in your life and will help you get to your goals physically and mentally. Ignore the haters and keep strong.
ReplyDeleteI was in tears watching your video. I am so deeply sorry you have felt attacked by the cruel words of others. You are an inspiration to me and countless others. While I haven't gone through a death of a spouse, I have also gone through alot this year when my fiancee (and thought was the love of my life) called our wedding a week before it was to take place last summer. Like you, for months I found it hard to eat let alone get up out of bed and put on a happy face and go to work. You are out there, putting yourself on display for others to serve as an example of how to live and breathe what you preach. Ignore those silly folkd Tosca. You are keeping it real and keeping it tight!!
ReplyDeleteTosca,
ReplyDeleteI came here via Chelle Staffords blog. I went to your fb page and saw what people wrote and it made me sick to my stomach. To have someone think they have a clue what it is like to walk in your shoes is the height of arrogance! I got a glimpse of what a competitor goes through by following Chelle's blog. And for you to go through this, in addition to the grieving you are in, is an indication of your love for Robert. I could tell it was a difficult video to make. Know that while there are always going to be folks who criticize those bold enough to keep moving forward, the number of folks whose lives you have changed for the better far out shadow those critics.
You are an amazingly strong woman and the world is blessed by your presence.
Thank you, Tosca.
Oh wow, Tosca, I just saw all of this and I just can not believe it! You certainly deserve all the grace in the world as you grieve your best friend/love of your life Bob, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! When I first found out how truly ill Bob was, I was amazed that you carried yourself through meeting all of us at the Arnold, knowing he was at home so sick. I totally get the not wanting to eat. This has happened to me before, and it's just great that you are on a plan and just keeping yourself nourished instead of staying in the dark hole with your grief. I know that Bob would be so proud of you, and that he will be smiling, somewhere,as you compete again, in his honor, this October. We're all behind you over at NLC. You're a wonderful example for us all. Lots of love, LM
ReplyDeleteHi Tosca Once again some people jump to conclusions and assume that one day of your diet plan IS your eating plan for life. I have never competed, but I do follow a clean eating plan and on days I'm not working out, my food intake is much lower than what I take in on the days I do workout. In this world of facebook and public sites and being a celebrity, unfortunately you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. I know it's hard not to but you cannot take this stuff personally. It just isn't worth the added stress. It would be interesting to see how many of these people actually work out - I mean truly work out - taking a walk is not working out. LOL Or how many actually truly eat clean - not "eating healthy" because it says low fat either, but truly eat clean. I have seen someone else attacked on facebook when she posted her before and leaner and muscular and fantastic after pictures. I think people are so you used to seeing piles of food on plates and piles of fat on people in this country, that they have grown to accept THAT as the norm. They obviously have no idea of what a serving size is, what EFA is, what a protein is, or what a complex carb is. Andd more importnatnly, no one knows where you are in your training except you and your trainer and unless some of these people have walked in your shoes, they need to cease and desist with their opinions and take a good look in the mirror and do some work on themselves, mentally and physically. And I can say that because I USED to be FAT. I'm a continual work in progress. You have my utmost support always, Tosca. You changed my life! Sisters in iron! A book that put "people" in perspective for me was The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron if you have not read it. :D
ReplyDeleteTosca,
ReplyDeleteI think you're amazing and I don't think you have to respond to your naysayers. You're diet is your business and it's by far cleaner than the majority of the populations!
You've been such an inspiration to me, and I'm so excited to say that because of you, at the age of 42, I'm training for my first bikini contest!!
You've reminded me that age is irrelevant when it comes to being your best.
I hope you're doing okay, and so sorry for your loss. With every day, it will get easier.
Love you!
Dear Tosca as you were losing the love of your life I was marrying the love of my life. I am a bit older than you and just now finding this special person was a God send, but to see you go through your pain made me so very sad. At times after your husband's passing I just cried every time I saw your posts. How your heart must be breaking I thought and here I was being so happy. I have just married him and I am so thankful for him. Your love with Bob made me appreciate my good fortune at this time possibly more than I would have otherwise. You have all my support you go girl. You are an amazingly strong woman, you will gain your eating back and you will shine as you once did because the star in heaven is going to constantly be there with you making you stronger every day. If I lost the love of my life I would do just what you are doing; pour myself into a project and struggle with every mouth full of food just as you do because that is where my emotion goes. It is different for all of us. But you have no one to explain to you are one hot, hard working woman. You just keep going lady I have the utmost respect for what you stand for. I train to live and when I am stressed I have to remember I eat to live not live to eat.
ReplyDeleteKeep that beautiful chin up and show us all how much hotter you can be at this wonderful age of 53. Thank you for all your books, your zest for clean eating, for sharing with others your love of this sport and for being a fantastic role model. Lots of love girlfriend. Now when you are done with this contest I want to see your book on how to eat and train for a contest. It will be fabulous just like the rest of your books!!! Thank you again.
Lyn
<< hugs >>
ReplyDeleteBless your heart. I'm so sorry that you got attacked basically by people who are supposed to be supportive. Do know that all of your faithful followers will be praying and will not stop. Best wishes to you and praying for peace and comfort for you.
ReplyDeleteThis is an email full of support, hugs and thanks for all you do and share to inspire us to be the best that we can be.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for the way you feel and for the comments that made you feel attacked. I know you are going through and extremely difficult time and I feel you are doing an amazing job. I don't know your personal daily struggles but I admire your determination to keep your head above water and stay healthy. I find your strength inspiring and I send you lots of positive and loving energy. May you continue to press forward and carry on the dreams your husband had for your life. :) My deepest sympathy!
ReplyDeleteThe weapons (darts) may form but they will not prosper against you. You have everything within you to make it through and survive this trying time. <3
Tosca, let the haters be haters and do what you need to do during this phase of your life. You are sooo strong and Bob loved that about you. You are doing this in honor of him, now ask yourself what would he say about it? mmmmmmm Yeah that's right. You will have an extremely physical and spiritual testimony after this. Think how many additional individuals you will be able to affect and motivate by this. You are not alone, there may be a few out there that aren't supportive, but there are millions that have your back. You got this!!!! BIG HUGS from NC
ReplyDeleteDear Tosca. I thank you for posting your heartfelt video. I'm sorry you were put in a position where you felt you needed to justify yourself. I have never gone what you are going through, I cannot begin to imagine what it is like to lose your soul mate, and so unexpectedly. When I heard that you were doing a show I was very surprised. It's a lot to take on. It's a wonderful way to honour Bob and I think that he would be very happy to see you using fitness to keep yourself focused on being healthy. If I understand what you were explaining on your video, if you didn't have the structure of this competition diet you would probably be more unhealthy, that what looks to some like not a lot of food is really more than you would eat under these difficult circumstances of losing Bob. I think people need to understand that competition diets are not really what clean eating diets are all about. From what I've learned from you, you don't really advocate shakes and pills, you advocate real food, like eggs and chicken and vegetables and fruit and grains. I imagine it's harder to shake off the negativity when you feel so vulnerable, but I pray for you and imagine a soft cloak draped around you to comfort you and shield you from more emotional harm than you've already experienced. It's okay to fall apart. It's okay to not be perfect. We're all here for you, the same as you've been here for us.
ReplyDeleteHate that you have to even explain yourself! It saddens me that there are people in this world with nothing better to do than ignore themselves and criticize others. Stay strong sister! I think it is great that you are doing this in Bob's memory! He would not have wanted it any other way!
ReplyDeleteIm glad that you are sharing your grief....I lost my mom 6 years ago when I was 19 weeks pregnant and I will never forgot the comment.."well now that the funeral is over with..you can just get on with it"...whooooo..Im will never forgoet how some people expect you to carry on..life has changed dramatically..there are still days now when I sob uncontrollably, when I miss my mum,, when I go to call her...stay stong, keep your heart open and you are motivating so many of us to stay on the healthy lifestyle. One big hug from me to you...
ReplyDeleteYou are one of my heroes and I am so touched that you are sharing your strength as well as your vulnerability with such dignity and grace. I am so sorry for your profound loss..I'm sending prayers for peace and healing your way.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Chelsea
your strength is completely awe inspiring. this is your journey, no one else's. you are an incredible role model and I am thankful everyday that your presence was ever brought into my life. you, a long with oxygen, Cathy Savage, Lori Harder and various other mentors made me a better woman. And it is a journey and a road I will never stop fighting for or striving towards. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteyour sister in iron, with love & prayers,
Francesca
facebook.com/frannyfit
Tosca,
ReplyDeleteI admire you, and your work has changed my life. Thank you for that. Thank you also, for your vulnerability, and sharing your life with us. I am praying for you as you grieve, and as you endeavor to keep truly living despite the magnitude of your loss. I am so sad that some have not met your tragedy with grace and support. I also lose my appetite and actually have trouble swallowing when under significant stress, so I totally get that part of it. Your transparency gives me hope that I can work through tough things with out giving up-- even if I don't do it perfectly.
Thank for being you, and thanks for being human.
Tosca- I just saw your video and I was so sad that you were put in a position where you felt you needed to justify yourself. I am not a bit surprised that you are doing the show. Doing the show at this time is the best thing for you right now. Bob is with you in this journey and he is proud. I am not a bit concerned about your eating at this moment as you are going through a very difficult time. You have your family and friends there to support you if they felt that your eating was an issue. You didn't need the negative comments!!
ReplyDeleteI feel sad for those negative readers that are heartless!!!! You are human and have feelings like everyone else.
I am very upset with those readers that pretend they comment it only because they were concerned. They should be concerned about their own life.
Love You Tosca!!!
Berta
I recently bought "Just the Rules" and the "Eat Clean Cook Book #1" so I'm a new fan of yours. You've inspired me to be the best version of myself that I can be and from the other comments above I think you do that for a lot of other people too. Keep your head up.
ReplyDeleteDW
I only wish I could support and inspire you as much as you have done for me. Clearly other's who feel they need to tell you what to do are going through there own struggles and taking them out on you.
ReplyDeleteThank you for putting yourself out there for all of us to support and pray for you. God Bless
Tosca, just seeing this. You hang in there, you're doing great! I just appreciate your transparency and sharing your life with us,flaws and all. It is encouraging and motivating to see you, as an older lady than myself (I'm 36), doing this healthy living thing, and succeeding! Thank you so much for giving us your life as an example! I grieve, and react to stress much the same way you do, by not eating. And it's certainly ok to be human.....and only right for you to struggle during the loss of your husband....you are an inspiration in how you are dealing with that as well...thank you!
ReplyDeleteTosca,
ReplyDeleteYou never cease to amaze me. Your candid words and willningness to share at a time when you are most vulnerable reaffirms your strength and character. Go kick some ass, girlfriend. In your way...on your terms.
Tosca,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that some people can been so insensitive. You are an amazing woman and an inspiration to so many. Try to not let the few negative people bring you down. I am so glad you have Rita with you to help you through this. Grieving takes a while and sometimes can come and hit you out of nowhere even years later. Anyone who understand this is behind you 100% and cheering you on.
Tosca,
ReplyDeleteYou are such an inspiration to so many women, don't let anyone discourage you! I haven't lost a mate but did grieve for the loss of a marriage. It is smart of you to be honest enough to know yourself and be proactive. You are so brave to put yourself out there so publicly! God has a plan for you even through this loss!
You are a very strong woman, inside and out. You deserve as much time as you need to grieve and get acquainted with a new world without Bob by your side. Please hang in there and continue to surround yourself with people that you love and that love you. Smiles and love from Kansas City ~Jen
ReplyDeleteOh honey, I am so, so sorry. Losing Robert...I just cannot imagine, since I am also married to the love of my life and just the thought of ever losing him would bring me to my knees. That you are still standing in any way at this point is a testament to your own strength of will and your continued work to push his legacy forward and you should know that a lot of people out here are cheering you on from the sidelines.
ReplyDeleteHere's the thing about the internet: a lot of people say things in comments or e-mails that they would never, ever think about saying to your face. Take whatever you read with a grain of salt, and rely most on the opinions of the people you know love you and truly have your best interests at heart. Everyone else? Can either learn some manners and compassion or get out of your way so that you can continue to move forward.
Your books have had a tremendous impact on my family's life. We are eating healthier and I am just beginning an exercise program after a pretty tough last few years. I got my own wake-up call in the form of a melanoma diagnosis that, mercifully, was caught early. I am so sorry that Robert wasn't as lucky, but I know that you have the strength and courage -- and love -- to pull through all of this and then some.
Some people are just nasty, and they take their own problems out on the people around them. All that garbage they are throwing in your direction is just that...garbage. Hang in there, and hang on to all of the love and prayers and kindness that the people are sending your way.
Hang in there Tosca! Grieving is a very complex and multifaceted process. Some days are really bad, some days are actually not too bad, most days are somewhere in between. I think the idea to focus on a goal is an excellent way to "work it out" both physically and mentally. And although it's great to put up a brave front, know that it's OK to have a really good cry when you need to. As for the food, I certainly can understand that this "lump in the throat" could prevent you from enjoying your food. If I may make a suggestion: in a recent time of grief, I found that liquid fuel was easier to swallow (literally) and that shakes were quite nutritious if I packed them right, and gulping them while doing other stuff was way better than sitting alone at the dinner table. So my heart goes out to you. Be at peace, you're just as inspiring in this difficult time.
ReplyDeleteIn watching this, I cannot even begin to imagine what is running through others mind. I lost my aunt last year and while it is painfull for me, I can't imagine what my uncle is going through. He too lost his appetite and it is still a struggle for him one year later.
ReplyDeleteTosca, you are a huge inspiration. I will be 40 next month and have lost 50 lbs and counting because of reading, as well as applying what I learned from Eating Clean and Oxygen. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers. Stay strong sister.
Gosh, Tosca! firstly, I really want to express how sorry I am that you are feeling so much pain. Grieving is something we must go through, yet it is so horribly painful, I wish I could make some of that pain fade away, instead what I can do is send you love and healing. Thank you for sharing your raw honesty. You are a hero-thank you!
ReplyDeleteTosca, thank you for your honesty and humility - two incredibly powerful attributes that you possess. You continue to be an inspiration to so many, and this sharing of your transparency only fortifies the reasons you are respected as a woman and a leader in the health and fitness world. God bless you. God is your refuge and strength!
ReplyDeleteWhen I read your diet, my first thought was .. how is she getting those 2 tbs of flax seed oil down in her soothie !! .. lol I'm not a huge fan of flax seed oil and only add 1 tsp to my smoothies and a tbs of ground flax seed.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I have enjoyed reading about your late husband in Oxygen and Eat Clean magazines. I am so sorry for your loss. {{{ hugs }}}
Regards, Monica
San Diego.
Dear Tosca, I'm so sorry for your loss and wish you and your family the very best through this very difficult time. You and Bob have helped me eat clean and lose 22 pounds. I'm really trying to "keep it tight." Thank you for all you do!
ReplyDeleteDear Tosca, I'm very sorry that you have lost your hero and I think it is a shame that during this time in your life you've been put in the position to defend yourself from judgement and hurtful words. I admire your strength and courage to push through it all and do what you do. I too am grieving in a profound way (my daughter was stillborn in September '11) and only wish I had the strength and courage that you have shown us all. Keep doing what you do and don't let anyone's insensitivity stop you! We are all cheering for you!
ReplyDeleteAs I tell my friends, Haters keep hating and supporters keep supporting. Keep your head above water and all your supporters will keep supporting you. Stay strong!
ReplyDeleteTosca,
ReplyDeleteI find your honestly so incredibly refreshing and empowering. You should not feel as though you owe anyone an explanation but the fact you post such an honest video show your strength. You have been so public with your loss, your grief and your love for Bob. Reading Oxygen recently I was in tears for you/with you. I wish you continued success and never let anyone tell you how to grieve.
I normally don't comment, but watching that video broke my heart. Mean people suck.
ReplyDeletePrayers for you Tosca. And prayers for the obviously broken people who felt the need to tear you down.