From Eating Disorder to Eating Clean

Today we have a powerful story from Yvette Salva, a personal trainer from New Jersey. She overcame an incredible amount to get to where she is today - happy, healthy and free. Thanks Yvette. You're a true Sister in Iron. 

My name is Yvette, and I have struggled with disordered eating and body dysmorphia for nearly 30 years. I am an addict, and my drug of choice is “more”—more alcohol, more shopping, more exercise, more food, more drugs. I have done it all. I began binging and purging at age 16 as a way to control my weight. Soon, though, it became my way of life.

A “good” day for me was binging and purging twice per day. But most days, I binged/purged 10 or more times. I was also drinking myself into blackouts, and indulging in a variety of other drugs. Unlike some other addicts, I did recognize that I was killing myself, but I just could not see how to live any other way. I thought that recovery was impossible, and I truly did not think that I would live to see my 30th birthday.

When, surprisingly, I turned 30, I finally hit rock bottom.  I made the decision that I did not want to die. I wanted to live. I went to rehab, and have been alcohol - and drug - free since July 29th, 2000.

But my recovery was incomplete. I had been honest about my addiction to drugs and alcohol, but I had kept my struggles with food a shameful secret. I had been in the fitness industry for nearly 20 years, working as a fitness instructor and personal trainer, but I did not practice what I preached. It wasn’t until I became pregnant with my daughter that I admitted that I needed to get help to conquer my final addiction. I knew that there was no way that I could be the kind of mother I wanted to be if I was still controlled by my eating disorder.

I went to rehab (again!), and it was there that I discovered Tosca’s site, and the whole Eating-Clean lifestyle. I am proud to say that I have been in successful recovery from my eating disorder for eight years. My daughter will celebrate her ninth birthday this year, and am able to focus on her, rather than on my binging and purging. I live by the rules of Eating Clean. I eat whole, unprocessed foods, I eat every three hours to stave off hunger and cravings, and my urges to binge/purge are gone.

I have learned more about myself, and about bulimia, than I ever thought possible. I can't even express the sense of freedom I have every day of my life now. Being able to Eat Clean, feeling energized, and have freedom from the compulsive behavior make my life so peaceful. I'm living in heaven right now and you can get there, too. Give recovery time and effort, and you can reach even further than you ever thought possible.

Tosca, I could say thank you a million times and it still wouldn't be enough. Your clean eating books saved my life!!!