Tosca Reno


Friday, April 8, 2011

Laughing Again, Slowly

It has been 2 weeks of learning and growing. I can't tell you how appreciative my family members and I are for your support. There has been a phenomenal outpouring of kindness. We have all been searching for ways to deal with the loss in our family, and each of us and our bodies have responded in different ways to the stress of what is often termed "the most cataclysmic event in the human experience." Extreme exhaustion, sickness, and generally feeling out of sorts have been the predominant experiences.  None of us seems to be able to get enough sleep.  Some days we feel like working out, some days we don't.  Mostly the gym has been a wonderful place to get some relief from the pain that just won't go away.

We are slowly pulling through. The sadness will be with us for the rest of our lives, but each day we learn to smile again and begin the slow and steady climb back to health. It's time to get back to proper eating, including supplementing with adrenal support and vitamins, and exercise and laughing and celebrating. The latter two are the hardest to do. Why is there guilt around laughing and celebrating after death? The more we talk about it the better it is. Overall, this situation sucks, but with your support we will be laughing again soon. Thank you for all that you've done.

My husband, Robert, has been so brave. One of the most helpful things he has said is this:

"Don't let this be the house of doom and gloom.  Braden wouldn't have wanted that.  I said goodbye to my little boy when the accident happened 12 years ago.  He did not come home from the hospital as the boy I remembered.  For the last 12 years we have had Braden in a new way.  His passing is saying goodbye again but it is his liberation."

That statement has helped me and the girls tremendously.  I admire that husband of mine so much and I am right here beside him for him and for Chelsea, Rachel, Kiersten and Kelsey-Lynn.

Thank you,


  1. First off, Thank you so much for what you have done for all of us!

    Second, my prayers and love go out to you and your family. The loss of a loved one is definitely "the most cataclysmic event in the human experience" and I know that your family will be stronger and more in love with one another following this loss.

  2. Blessings to you and your family Tosca. Losing a loved one is never easy. He will be in your hearts forever.

  3. So, so sorry for the loss that not only you, but your entire family has suffered. With time, it will continue to get better.
    Love and prayers for you!

  4. I admire what Robert said too, Tosca. But most of all, I admire your ability to write so eloquently about something so painfuly. You are an amazing woman with an amazing family.


  5. From seeing a sister that was always kind, caring and always there for me to a human body in a hospital bed living on bare threads, I know how this feels. I lost my sister and I lost a little part of me when she died. But her smile and her glow is what keeps me strong thinking that she would only want the best for me. Thinking that we only have one life to live, so make it count.
    I feel your pain. Take comfort from your loved ones and grasp life with all you've got. My prayers go out to you Tosca, Robert and family.

    Anto M.

  6. wow, that is a great outlook, I will remember that often we focus on what is missing...and forget how lucky we are to even have had...

  7. I am new here, but read about your beautiful boy passing away recently. It is very hard when you are feeling so much grief and pain to remember the "celebration" of one's life. So many people walk around just "exsisting" in life - never knowing the true gift it really is to each and every one of us.

    May I just say how inspired I am to read of your families most private moments during this very hard time, and that being able to be so open during all of this helps not only us on the outside to be encouraged by your fine example of "living life real"....but that hopefully we can help to carry your burden also and encourage YOU & yours. :)

    Many blessings & Shalom to you and your family Tosca. You can do nothing finer for Braden that to celebrate his life and remember his beautiful soul on this earth that obviously impacted many, many people for the better.

  8. I am new here, but read about your beautiful boy passing away recently.



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